I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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