im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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