You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
