That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
