just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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