It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
