Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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