I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
