so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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