Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my phone needs a breathalizer
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
