It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
