So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
