After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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