Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
