You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
