She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is the high leading the old right now
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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