it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
