He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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