It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
