i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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