i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
