No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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