So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he thought i was a dude.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
