so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
