I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
