He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Buhtt sex?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
