i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
