I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
