Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You can't special order awesome
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
