peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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