be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
