Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
