I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
