we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
