How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?