why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
