Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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