Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
