You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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