i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sober January is a disaster.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I want a musical about memes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
