K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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