all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
