at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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