"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize