you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Mom said you looked used
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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