he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
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two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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