No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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