just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
