your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
