My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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