when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
