But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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