ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
