No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
