Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Holy shit dude........stairs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
