Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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