East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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