I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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