no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We had sex on a dog bed..
Randomize
