I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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