i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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