Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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