Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
