Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Your cock deserves a montage
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
