And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
