I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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