if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
