She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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