i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
3 2 1 whiskey
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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