Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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