i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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