so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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